Emotionally Focused Therapy Techniques

The change process through EFT has three stages. The EFT process guides the therapist and helps them track progress when working with a couple.

De-Escalation

The first EFT step is focused on identifying negative interaction patterns that contribute to conflict, identifying negative emotions related to attachment, and reframing those feelings. This process helps couples better see how their insecurities and fears affect their relationship. Partners view undesirable behaviors (i.e., shutting down or angry escalations) as "protests of disconnection." Couples learn to be emotionally available, empathetic, and engaged with each other, strengthening the attachment bond and creating a safe place between them.

Restructuring

During the next stage, each partner learns to share their emotions and show acceptance and compassion for the other partner. The process attempts to reduce conflict and create a more secure emotional bond. 

Couples learn to express deep, underlying emotions from a place of vulnerability and ask for their needs to be met. This step also helps partners become more responsive to each other’s needs.

Consolidation

During the last step, a therapist helps the couple work on new communication strategies and practice skills when interacting with each other. This process can help couples see how they have been able to change and how new interaction patterns prevent conflict.

New sequences of bonding interactions occur and replace old, negative patterns. These new, positive cycles then become self-reinforcing and create permanent change. The relationship becomes a haven and a healing environment for both partners.

Article Source - Very Well Mind